Just too good to be true

OK, i know many of you rite now must be saying what a terrible fellar i
am. AS we all know, SPEED KILLS!!! I KNOW!I KNOW!! But no offense, with
modern cars nowadays, speeds of 130 to 140km/h is still very safe.

I
mean cars are all built better and better meaning safer and safer.

Oh
well, i guess air bags only protect the passengers in the front only
and not the back at the moment. So if u’re one of the guys sitting behind and one of
yer friend is one hell driver, please tell him that speed kills.Tell him to slow down to the correct speed. If he doesn’t, i guess u know how much he cares about yer life and his. So,

REMEMBER Treasure your luved ones and yourself…..

ALSO REMEMBER THAT 110 and above doesn’t really work in proton cars for now.Don’t trust the commercial from proton savvy. Trust me, that monster was a useless one.

ALSO REMEMBER THAT no matter how cool or how trendy u are, a virgin driver is always better to be with as well as a better friend.

Yes, i’m a virgin driver.

What are you thinking??Tell me!!TELL ME!!What was the first thing that poped up into your mind??(BE HONEST OK!!)HAHA
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Ok, now since some of you may not really share your thoughts, i’m going to share mine since i’m the one who started out this topic.

Well u see, a few days ago, like any other times i would have driven down to Kuala Lumpur that requires us to take on our world class high way that also has one of the biggest number of fatality rates around the world. People die in our highways!!Its amazing that  you see the crazy numbers of fatalities but whenever i take the highway, i don’t see any accidents!!Maybe they just dun occur the day i use the highway.

(NOTE I DUN DRIVE THE CAR IN THE PICTURE, I DRIVE THE OTHER VERSION OF THAT, EARLIER VERSION OF THE 350Z, THE Y-SERIES)

Anyway  like any other times that i have driven down to Kuala Lumpur, i would normally drive at the virgin speed of 110KM/H all the way to Kuala Lumpur. Yes, i respect the law alot. Yes, i got a slow car. Yes, MOST IMPORTANTLY I CARE FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE CAR!Yes, i was in no rush. Yes, i’ve never gone above the speed limits of 110. Yes, i’m a boring person.

But, as of 21st July 2006, i’ve officially decided to de-virignised my driving on the highway and drive at a faster speed. Don’t ask me why!When you have the urge, u just gotta…(i think the guys shud understand here or wait..girls shud know as well, its just simply the urge,gatai, itchiness,etc.)Anyway as for driving, there is an urge as well to go faster and faster. The normal average time it takes me to get to KL from penang by car is about 4 1/2 hours. Long??Tell me if u’re even longer. I’ll help u de-virginise!haha..This time it took me about 3 1/2 hours. One hour lesss..Ok don’t tell me u can do any better. I’m sure there are alot of devil drivers out there or shud i just call u, not a virgin.

Whatever it is, what made me do it and how to do it. How to do it without getting caught! Well, it was an on and off thing. The only thing that was in my mind was that the police speed traps are only stationed at over-heads(they need shade la, hot u know sit by the jungle) So, as soon as i do not see an over-head for about a kilometer or so, i would just step the pedal all the way. When there is a corner and u can’t see whats ahead of you. Just slow down back to the virgin speed, and u shud be fine. If there are flashing lights by helpful malaysians to inform you that indicates policemen ahead, just slow down back to the virgin speed again and u’ll do fine.

SEE!!Think it will work or i’ll get a saman?? I hope not to get saman. But i can always check at www.rilek.com.my. If you have not known, u can actually check to see if u kena a saman in Malaysia through this website for speeding or whatsoever from the polis.Sigh, Pray!Pray really hard.

Our yeng policemen!Close to al-queda or taliban?oops…ISA coming my way soon

Whatever it is, i have cut my time to KL an hour less and this is really good. It works both ways to KL and back. My fastest speed was at 130 to 140km/h. I know la, u all go 160 and stuff. Will talk about this when we get to mamak one day and see who is the super champion of going down to KL the fastest. YALAH YALAH!FAST LA!!

hmm..PRAY!PRAY HARD!!hopefully no saman…

Not knowing how friend finder can really damage some of us aliens who try to keep our whereabouts secret, we can now also be put into a test.

TEST??WHAT TEST??WHAT THE HELL!!!U’RE KILLING US!!

The lying detector test. Thats right!! Ah Beng says: "Haiyah, my girl sure won’t get such stuff one lar, sure safe lar, so expensive plus where to buy!!hahaha!!". Ah beng, just be dun pray pray too much ok..

Girls, its time to hmm instead of using yer sixth sense or yer gut feelings to find out lies, there is this gadget to detect lies.

Its called the De-FIB-ulator. Its a portable lie detector. This is how it works. I’m so lazy to write. I’ll just post the details of how this machine work that may help out alot.

(Pasted)
"To train the DeFIBulator to the human voice, ask your subject 3 yes/no questions
  and then record the voice to establish a baseline. Then ask the real yes/no
  questions and watch the figure on the screen. Demonochio’s nose
  will grow and his horns will appear. The greater the tension in the voice,
  the longer his nose and horns will be. The DeFIBulator is to be used for amusement
  only and is guaranteed to be the life of the party."

If the De-FIB-ulator is still not too much fun, use this


U know what questions to ask here…Guys would have more fun here as well(guys, don’t be dumb, take over this machine and ask the questions as well!!)

After you’re done asking all yer sickening questions and i mean REALLY SICK QUESTIONS umm if yer bf’s hands are really numbed up after the process. Have something like this nearby

Sigh, i’m not suggesting that you cut out your lovers head.DEFINITELY NOT!!YOU CAN’T BE THAT MEAN RIGHT!! Maybe u know threaten to cut out the place where it would cost him alot for the rest of his life that would cut out the many generations and generations after his time.Rest assured, i’m sure the truth will come out somewhere.

So, hmm…detect lies for the sake of detecting ok. Don’t go overboard. Practice safety at all times. Forget and move on at all times as well. hehe

So guys and girls, what kind of questions would u ask me if i had my hand on that machine rite now?NARR I DON’T LIE…I MEAN I BETTER NOT RITE…

The following is a conversation between my close friend kopitiam better known as boss stewie in his other blog.(better not disclose his name due to certain reasons.)Here it goes : -

Kopitiam(shall not disclose his name): Gin!!Where are you??Why never pick up my phone?

Gin: I was sleeping la!

Kopitiam: I thought u just wrote your blog?

Gin: Ummmmm i was sleeping and i just woke up..ummmmm…..and ummm….

HOW DOES THE SLEEPING EXPLAINS WHY I DID NOT PICK UP HIS PHONE???I mean Kopitiam called me when i just completed writing my blog. WTF!!How would i know he so yeng!!He does not even use friend finder(not that i would have allowed it because i like to play the role of an alien from outer space) or Travel Buddy (i wouldn allow it either), yet he can still  know where i am. Of all the functions provided to us, my dear friend has found a way of somehow tracking me down that we all couldn possibly think of. MY FREAKIN OWN FRIENDSTER BLOG tracked me down.

FRIENDSTER!I really thought your "who viewed me" section was already so dangerous for us aliens to keep our identity anonymous, now my dear friend also can track me down from my blog???YENG LAR KOPITIAM!!

Ok so since that was over. I now have to explain in my own version of why i didn’t answer his phone call and did not call back.(better clarify things before its too late)

Now, that i am an alien trying to confess the truth which would always still look like a lie and so i’ll just give it a shot anyway like any alien would.Here is my version.
Well, u see, while i was writing my blog, my handphone wasn’t with me and it was somewhere else in the house which i didn’t know where it was at that time. Oh well, i’m going to give some credit to my friend because he actually knew the position of my wherabouts though. I was really home when i wrote the blog. So, i didn’t realize i had a phone call because i couldn hear my phone ringing. I was playing "boys 2 men - i’ll make love to you" in my winamp player which relatively made me deaf to the outside world. So, hmm after posting up my blog, i took an hour of nap before heading out to a place in penang island(blog is not a place to share where my wherabouts are and oh well i’m an alien).

After my nap and before heading out, i had to find my phone which was not with me. By the time i found it, my dear friend called me and well was pretty much hurted that i did not pick up his phone call as well as not returning his call back.

So what you think of my version?Believable?For those of you in a relationship, its always good to hear out an alien talking. They can really come up with superb ideas.

Anyway I had no reason to not pick his phone call unless "ND" calls though.haha..So kopitiam, we will have our drink at some kopitiam(mamak) stall nearby one day ok.Maybe Teh ais and roti hongkong?hehe

Friend Finder, sigh..why not just call it "Here doggy doggy, u’re going no where".hehe

OK, SO yes u guessed it right. Its all about WORLD CUP now. A time where some people who did not have much interest in football before, all of a sudden have interest in it due to its massive popularity among many men and women.

    So, we(friends and i) watched it(germany versus costa rica)  at my friends house which was at first at a mamak stall(we had to just meet up before the game, we considered it supper but none of us ate except one of my friend who just got back from a far away land and needed a taste of our local roti which he would be familiar with in awhile.All of us just had a drink)While having a drink we made an agreement(noticed we used the word agreement!).

What is this agreement we’re talking about?Its world cup. Most people would either bet or oh well just watch it and be happy with yer team. (Just to clarify things up, we do not bet and we do not intend to either because IT IS SIMPLY AGAINST THE MALAYSIAN LAW!!)Last but not least, we do not bet because we took a subject called Moral in high school that taught us betting is a bad thing. Not sure what nilai, maybe ikhlas hati may work here. Anyhow we should give some credit to our Malaysian Education System for coming out a subject that actually brought up good Malaysian Citizen’s like us.

The agreement was a free voucher worth RM5 at any mamak stall in oh well Penang will do la. Like any other great football fan, i did not do any mathematical calculation to choose which team i would support.

I straight away supported Germany as the winner of the match like many did at the mamak stall.  Everyone was practically a germany supporter of that match. Besides they would have had lots of pressure in the first match. I mean wouldn it be embarassing for them to lose the first game since they are actually hosting the entire world cup. So as we know, Germany won 4-2 by now if u did follow the game. Sigh, I know there would be a mamak day where i would just go for something like ROTI HONGKONG or some other expensive roti which i rarely eat at all without incurring any cost.Plus a drink as well. HONG KONG here i come!haha..

ok i’m not writing on how excited i am for WORLD CUP. I’m writing to inform fellow friends that i’ve bought my new football boots and ready to play a few more games before i retire(due to obesity or other serious illness or occupied with other commitments). So if any of you  who are still playing out there maybe futsal or something, Please do let me know or else i’ll just have to my hang my boots at a place as part of a decoration in my home.

Now that some of you are enjoying a college break for a month or so, why not hold a game?

Contact me at www.friendster.com for any enquiries.

Is she the one? Is she compatible with me? Will i just end up with this one person that i luv so much now? I got so many to choose, which one arr? I’m confused?? "I need to find my true love before the age of 30?" I feel she’s the one lar!!"

OH well, so many questions. We will never know the future. But don’t worry. Over here at "just too good to be true", we do not leave LOVE to fate. That is so wrong. Before you know it, its all over and you’re going to be all wasted thinking of how to move on. IF it does happen, "just too good to be true is going to solve it".

So you’re probably wanting to know how we going to solve the MR and MRS right problem here. Well its pretty simple.

Visit this link. Love Calculator

Yes u guessed it right. ITS SUPER LAME! But hey, i’m sure u would have some free time and enter a few names to enjoy a few moments of how perfect your relationship would be with another person, or the same sex(u sick bastards!!), or whatever it is(u’d all end up as sick bastards!!)

I’m sure the website is very simple to follow. There u go!!All your questions has been solved. Now wtf u reading this blog!Get up and get on to find yer 100percent perfect partner!!

Look i even tried it. I wonder who that is??86%??Not bad… Guys, if u somehow manage to try a sick testing on who my 100% partner would be, please do let me know..haha..WE have a good chance of being successful!!SIMPLY UNBELIEVABLE!

"WHERE ARE YOU??" *SOB* *SOB*…."WHY DON’T U TELL ME!!"*SOB* *SOB*

WE’ve heard this too many times. A guy and a girl in a relationship not being able to share a simple question about letting them know where they are. Well its quite simple why they do not want to let the other party know they’re wherabouts in a relationships.ITS AN AFFAIR!!No lar not that drastic i hope…Its just that he or she does not want to upset their partner(sometimes guys and girls do things because they need a peace time out from their partners, a small break).NONSENSE MAN!!YOU’RE SO DEAD!! So what comes next, oh well, "WHY DO U HAVE TO LIE TO ME!!", "YOU’RE SUCH A BAD LIER!!"(This only applies to whoever mostly guys who does not tell the truth and rather faces this than the actual reality of what he would face if he had told the truth.

So to help and give girls a better edge over their boyfriends who wants to play a role of an alien from outer space, you girls can now play the role of WIB(women in black as oppose to men in black, remember the show).YES!well girls, here are some black suits u can try on for a start. I think the underworld black suit is just what the job requires.

WELL, girls, DIGI is going to be your best friend!

You’re probably asking rite now, DIGI??Why i use DIGI?How is that suppose to help me.

Guys, time to think of a solution for this because i have not thought of one at the moment, cause i’m not in a relationship, rather tell the truth and shame the devil, and umm good luck, if you have any opinions, don’t share!it might help u one day!

So how is DIGI (supposedly the largest prepaid communication company in MAlaysia) going to help?
Well DIGI has introduced a feature called friend finder. They have also introduced a feature called travel buddy. Many of u must have heard about this, some of u may have used it already, but actually nobody really know how it can do so much help to women out there who just can’t trust their men.

So girls, listen and listen hard!This is how u do it. Do away with the traditional method of calling up yer bf’s and checking up on them of their wherabouts. STill the most popular method. But how can u improve all that. THIS IS WHERE FRIEND FINDER AND TRAVEL BUDDY FROM DIGI COMES IN!!!(this only works in malaysia for now)

Friend Finder lets you find out the wherabouts of yer ahem "bf" via WAP or SMS. This only works if umm your boyfriend is in Malaysia and not anywhere else. You get to also track down yer "bf" if he uses a 012 line(thinking its a very good excuse since u are using a different operator)

Travel Buddy works the same way as well but far more advanced and mean. Imagine being tracked down 24 hours a day. Travel Buddy allows u to set the tracking time that his handphone has to report to you his location at the end of the tracking time. Sounds simple enough. ITs all automatic. You don’t even have to pick up the phone to call him of his wherabouts.

So what do you do now? You have to acquire authorisation from your boyfriend’s handphone to allow this to happen. or you can just do it for him and trick him one day when he lies…very cruel indeed…So, now that everything is done, you can now track your naughty naughty "bf" 24 hours without even calling and disturbing him. you can do the usual testing like first tracking him down, and then later calling him up to see whether he is telling the truth. Calling up is proven to be the most effective method still to date.

OH well, 3G is also just as good an option but how many of us can afford such phones to talk and see one another. So the best option will be from DIGI at the moment.

So guys, what do you do now?Your move. OFF DA PHONE LA, SIMPLE AS THAT!nasty nasty!Anyway for your information people, going through such extreme does not show that u have much faith of either of your partners. So why have a relationship at the first place? we wonder……..Oh well, its a good feature if u don’t want to disturb your luved ones too much. Guys, if u dun trust yer gf as well, this feature is exactly for u as well. Just umm, dun suit up with something from kate beckinsale ok, just simply extremely fucking gay!

Just to make it straight to everyone, "Don’t judge a book by its cover" does not apply in this column.

"Just too good to be true" girl of the month goes to none other than our young and cute HILLARY DUFF.


She simply puts a smile on everybody’s face whenever u see her (only through pictures for unfortunate ones like us who are unable to meet up with her). By her looks, she’s pretty even if she’s angry. A young and cute girl. A cheerful character indeed. Her smile is simply gorgeous.Fashion style is very very acceptable. Her MTV clips and movies are all filled with happy and fun!She’ll brighten up my life for this month..Hillary! Now give me a Left, Centre, and Right!wonderful!You’re officially "JUST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE GIRL OF THE MONTH"

For those of you who are finding good alternative Malay Songs to the popular Man Bai - Kau Ilhamku, or Innuendo - Belaian Jiwa, here’s a link u can go to download a few favourite songs of mine that my friend Melvin has introduced. I must say he liked the song so much that he came all da way to my house to transfer the songs to my computer to let me hear. I’d appreciate it alot. Its really good and i’ve been hearing it ever since.

So what are these Malay Songs that i’m talking about. The following is a link to their website : - Sad Angry Babies

That’s right! Their band is called Sad Angry Babies. They have about four songs available for download. Its in their media submenu. The 4 songs are Sabarlah(my favourite), Free, Kau , Sayang. All really good romantic songs. A song to play for your luved ones in da car or anywhere else. Play it on a guitar is a plus. I guess after promoting here, they may disallow ppl from download it.haha!Hope not or else u can just get it from me.ITs legal don’t worry, we can share!Anyway for those of you who have friends and friends and friends, do share it.I don’t suppose they’d be reading this blog.

As you can see, i really enjoy malay songs like these. If any of you have Malay Songs that you would like to share with us, please do let us know.